Shopping Dramas
by gazse
Summary: Goku and Vegeta are shopping for Bulma when Goku lets something slip... Yaoi, GokuxVegeta


Disclaimer: Nope, nope, nope... maybe one day, but not now...

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Ah, the local store; Children demanding candy and and throwing temper tanturms when they don't get it, the elderly asking everyone either where stuff is, or to reach something off the very top shelf, single, desperate men waiting around the fruit section to use the 'nice melons' joke/ pick up line, teenagers walking around thinking that nobody noticed the six packs of gum they just shoved in their pockets, and, where unfortunate princes have to deal with all of this rolled up into one third-class package.

"For the last time, NO Kakarot!" Vegeta sneered at the taller man beside him, holding a pack of chocolate biscuts with a pleading look on his face. The prince turned and snarled at the attention they had gathered, but he knew they'd have even more if Goku had worn his orange gi instead of faded jeans and a white T-shirt that said 'you gots to smile to be happy' in green letters.

Goku pouted at his ouji, but took a moment to scan his form, not for the first time either. Vegeta didn't wear his spandex today, unfortunately, but instead wore tight black jeans and a big, light grey cotton shirt that down played his size majorly, but effectively made him look less threatening, until, of course, he starts scowling again.

Goku woefully returned the biscuits to the shelf, making sure out the corner of his eye that Vegeta was watching the whole pityful display. Unfortunately, he just pursed his lips and continued down the aisle, leaving Goku no choice but to sigh heavily and trudge all behind him. Those were his favourite biscuits to.

The prince's eyes scaned the shelves for some baking soda. Why they needed it, he didn't have the foggiest, it didn't even taste good or anything. Finally, he spied the item, on the highest shelf, which just HAPPENED to be just out of his reach. Growling silently, he gathered a small amount of energy to levitate up to it, when a heavy hand planted him to the ground.

"You CAN'T do that in public 'Geta!" The taller man quickly looked around to see if anyone had seen the little height the prince managed to get, "remember what Bulma said, if we cause any trouble then she'll NEVER fix the gravity room or give you back your spandex suits!" Which, of course, was a crime in itself.

Growling again, he let his tall mate tower over him to reach the baking soda, silently thankful for the man's help. With that in the half full trolley, they turned away from the aisle and unwittingly went into the baby aisle. Mothers both single and married, expecting, children, grandmothers, aunts and sisters all looked up at the trespassers. Not a word was spoken as they were evaluated, men passing by the 'trial' silently thanked gods that is wasn't them. The two Saiyans knew they had to tread carefully; Vegeta, while he didn't know much about pregnant women, knew that mothers in the animal kingdom would fiercely protect their cubs if they felt any danger, and often gaining some hidden strength to do so. Goku, on the other hand, had experienced this with his ex-wife Chichi, and he sure wasn't in a rush to repeat any of those experiences. The taller man's hand slowly went up to the smaller's chest, pushing slightly, indicating to back away, slowly, while he followed suit, a step behind. As soon as the rows on either side on them ended, the women went right back to their discussions about nappies, morning sickness and what not.

Both men let out a sigh of relief before turning into the next aisle and continuing their shopping, shaken from their 'near death' experience.

"Ne, Vegeta?" Goku broke the tense silence with an almost frightened look at his small mate.

"What is it Kakarot?" Not quite listening, _fairy cakes?! Angel wings?! By the GodS! How many mythical creatures can one slaughter before it's classed as a genocide and people start wondering why their children can't sleep at night._

"I hope you're not gonna be like that when you're pregnant..." he commented offhandedly.

Vegeta stopped walking and tensed, his face drained of his natural bronze colour and eyes went impossibley wide. Him? PREGNANT?! He cursed the day he told Kakarot the REAL reason why he forced him to wear condoms. He turned slowly to his mate, desparately searching through the other man for some innocence in the comment, that the baka was just speaking hypothetically, but going over the words in his head a few times, he realised that the other man knew something that he didn't.

Goku's hand flew up and absently scratched the scar from his youth, sometimes he acted every bit of the idiot his lover often accused him of being. He knew he should've held it in for later, when they weren't in a public place and in the safety of their little home in the woods. He didn't really want to tell his mate about how he had been putting the tiniest of holes in the condoms, nor did he want to explain how he'd manage to get urine samples every few weeks to test it. He ESPECIALLY didn't want to say how he had told Bulma about what could (and will dammit!) happen and how she gave him tips and was quite possibley preparing something at home right now to help him. The only small comfort he had was the fact that he was stronger, so it would make it harder for Vegeta to kill him.

A staring contest ensured, one waiting for the other to crack, the other hoping the one will dimiss the comment. The rest of the world melted away, and Goku found he could only focus on the penetrating ebony gaze that sort answers in his very soul. Vegeta on the other hand could plainly see the internal begging of his mate towards him not to create a scene, and that he was hiding something that could change their lives forever. And you don't have to be a scientist to guess what it was.

Caught up in staring, neither noticed when Krillin and Yamcha joined the growing crowd of onlookers after escaping Juuhachi and Yamcha's newest love, Jenny. Both knew of their friend's relationship, and both knew that the glint in the prince's eyes called for an immediant evacuation of the store and the surrounding area. Unfortunately, verbal fights between the couple usually turned out to be over something small or some insecurity on Vegeta's part towards a human custom, and were usually _really_ funny, so the two men ignored the warning bells going off in their heads and waited for the show to begin, silently wishing they had popcorn.

"What was that...?" the words were smooth like silk, with a dangerous underlining.

Gulping down the fear the clogged his throat, Goku lied, "N-nothing... lets just finish the shopping... and then we can spar! Yeah! You like to spar! And the quicker we get this done, the quicker we can go spar!" And with that, making a bee-line for the exit, only to be stopped by a firm grip on his wrist.

Ebony eyes narrowed, ignoring his love's obvious attempt to avoid the subject, "You're hiding something from me..."

Their audience shivered and started to pity the poor man who was helpless against his prince.

"I-I'm not hiding anything from you... but even if I was, I'd rather not talk about it in public... soo..."

The pressure tightened on his wrist and he watched Vegeta's eyebrows furrow. He silently decided that dealing with Frieza, Cell, Buu and with the ladies in the baby aisle would be far safer then his little love right now. He would've IT'd away, but that would've brought Vegeta with him and also left him with a lot of explaining to do.

"Tell me what you meant right now, or I'll cut off your balls with a rusty knife and feed them to hungry, rabid dogs..."

The men in the audience all winced and abstantly cupped their groins, just to make sure their own baby makers were still there. After doing the same thing, Krillin and Yamcha chose that moment to save Goku from a possible casteration.

"Hey Goku! Vegeta!" fake smiles on both faces, "Whats up guys?"

Goku would've given them both a big bear hug that second had there not been and silently fuming Saiyan attached to him, "Hey guys! I haven't seen you guys in a long time! Me and 'Geta were just doing some shopping for Bulma, 'cause otherwise she won't fix the Gravity Machine anymore..." While he spoke, he was all too aware of the firey gaze currently burning holes into the side of his head.

Krillin chuckled at his friend, "Maybe that was a sign to train outside in the fresh air more..."

While the two best friends bantered, Yamcha silently swore at the bald man for striking up conversation with the friendlier man of the couple and turned to Vegeta, of whom was still trying to pick at the other's brain.

"So, Vegeta, how are you?"

Fierce black orbs met his with a fierce intensity, making him recoil some. People behind him within the firing range of the glare quickly turned tail and bolted away, abandoning trolleys, baskets and knocking off glass jars of pasta sauce in their exit. Yamcha sorely wished he was one of them.

Goku and Krillin watched the fleeting mob in a nervous agreement with Yamcha's wish. Turning back to the other two, Krillin spoke, "Hey Vegeta, somethin' the matter?"

The heat gaze of the prince switched between the three men he currently saw as enemies.

Finally, the iron grip on Goku's wrist loosened, and he almost winced at all the blood rushing back into the purple hand at once. With a look of gratitude towards his friends, the tall man turned to regard his mate just in time to see his flame hair disappear around a corner. With a soft sigh, he faced his buddies again, and, along with the remaining mob, started to explain what the scary confrontation was about, no-one noticing the fire hair reappear.

There is something you must understand about coconuts. Coconuts kill. If you are sleeping under a coconut tree, and one falls on your head, that could very well be the end of your life. Having one thrown at you may not have the same effect, depending on whereabouts it struck you. Now, being the strongest man in the known universe, Goku always presumed that he would never have to worry about coconuts, always thinking that how could a nut bring him down when ki blasts, explosions and peeved off bad guys couldn't? He never took into account that it could one day be thrown by a man, a very angry man, a very angry man who also happened to be the second strongest in the known universe, never one to restrain his temper, and also happened be Goku's own lover. All the audience could do was look on in complete shock as the happily talking man was knocked down into an almost comatose state and the offending coconut rolling away innocently.

Soft taps made everyone look up to see a stotic Vegeta walk up and haul his mate over his shoulder. Adjusting to carry Goku comfortably, Vegeta turned to face Krillin, gesturing to the forgotten shopping trolley and handing him the list of things to get. With the message passed on, he calmly walked towards the exit, no-one moving til the soft foot falls couldn't be heard anymore...

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Gaz san: Oh shit... what's gonna happen to Goku? I'm worried...

I love mpreg fics, especially when Vegeta is the one pregnant, but I don't normally like when the baby grows up and becomes the main focus of the story... if that makes sense...

No continuation, only a one shot, an attempt at humour, should I ever do it again or stick to angst?

Your call... read and review please...


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